ATD x EP. 2558 - .69 CENTS

Jan 19

I trust myself to recognize when an exchange is no longer mutual. I give myself permission to stop paying into roles, relationships, and expectations that only know me through what I provide. My worth is not created through overextension, and I am allowed to step out of any ledger that no longer honors who I am and how I choose to move forward.

DEEP WINTER PASSAGE GUIDE

This episode begins with a number, but it quickly becomes something else entirely.

.69 cents is not a story about money, and it is not a story about lack. It is a story about the moment a pattern reveals itself fully, when giving without awareness reaches its end, and when a role you have been living inside of no longer has permission to continue.

In this episode, I walk through the deeper architecture of transactional attachment, the invisible ledger many of us never realize we are part of, and the quiet shock that comes when reciprocity does not arrive. We talk about how transactional attachment forms when love, belonging, safety, or spiritual worth become tied to what you give, how much you carry, or how reliably you show up, and how those dynamics embed themselves so deeply that they feel normal until the moment they don’t.

I introduce DVN THEREPE’s numerology system, The Ledger, as a way of naming these unseen exchanges, not as symbolism but as structure. I go deeper into the meaning of the numbers 6, 9, and 69, and how they map onto relational labor rather than abstraction. We explore 6 as the role of care, responsibility, and giving, 9 as completion and consequence, and 69 as the loop where giving and receiving are meant to circulate, revealing what happens when that loop becomes one sided and keeps running long after it should have ended.

This episode looks closely at what it means to be related to for what you provide rather than who you are, how transactional attachment lives inside families, faith communities, friendships, and long term relationships, and why some endings don’t come with conflict or rupture, but instead arrive as a quiet internal knowing that something no longer has authority over you.

This is a conversation about thresholds, about the moment before release, and about what changes internally when a pattern you have tolerated for a long time finally stops making sense to your body, your mind, and your sense of self.

If you have ever reached a point where you knew, without drama or collapse, that you were finished giving something that cost too much, this episode is for you.

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IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT:

Transactional attachment happens when your value gets tied to what you give instead of who you are.
Many relationships run on an invisible ledger where imbalance becomes normal over time.
Endings often happen quietly, through internal recognition rather than conflict.
Giving without awareness can turn care into self abandonment.
The Ledger uses the numbers 6, 9, and 69 to name relational labor, completion, and the giving receiving loop.
Release begins when you stop paying into something that no longer returns you to yourself.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• DVN THEREPE — My home for all things healing, embodiment, and personal transformation.

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