BLACK HISTORY
Every year I see more people of different ethnic backgrounds cringe at Black History Month. Sometimes I laugh about it, sometimes I roll my eyes and keep scrolling, but this year I was disturbed. February is the month of Valentine’s Day, the month of Aquarius season, my birthday and Black History Month.
So, why is there so much hatred in the month of love?
This year, I saw a ridiculous post that said “Why do we have to acknowledge Black History Month, when the “blacks” don’t acknowledge the Indigenous.” This was actually posted by a white person. I was shook.
This post triggered me, so I clapped back and said “GIRL, PLEASE… BECAUSE WE ARE ALSO INDIGENOUS. ACKNOWLEDGE THAT AND STOP SAYING WE ARE ALL FROM AFRICA AND THAT ONLY AFRICAN IS IN US.” I braced myself and waited for a response back (which I didn’t want because I like to get the last word, so I had no clue how long the arguing would last with this complete stranger). I didn’t get a response back from the person that posted it, but I did get over 3 thousand likes and comments that were acknowledging the truth in what I said.
That’s a good thing, right?
This year, Black History Month meant so much to me because I had a deeper understanding of BLACK HISTORY. I also finally got information on who I truly am, although some things are still up in the air. I’ve always known that I was different and I was always agitated when people of color were categorized. If you’re darker skinned, you’re African, if you have light skin, you may be white or another race, but all dark skinned people of color are definitely from Africa.
I hated this and I’m so thankful that I grew up around people who never saw the color of my skin and never categorized me as “the black girl”. In fact, they never acknowledged that I was black. They just saw me as an individual like them and I am forever grateful. So, imagine the mental and emotional adjustment I had to make when I became involved with people who always pointed out the color of my skin, stereotypes of black americans, the black jokes, the N-Word…
I was in constant aggression (and private) mode, because I was young and it was the only way I knew to protect myself. I did what they said and wanted because I didn’t want to be nitpicked the way I was. I tried to blend in the environment as much as I could but always the color of my skin (and hiding me from co-workers) was a topic. I had to constantly prove myself and it took it’s toll. It was the worst time of my life.
I have always known that I was indigenous and I knew that on my father’s side they were primarily white but I never said anything because my skin was dark, so I knew they would say that I was from Africa because their minds could not go further than the color of my skin.
I was quiet and I played the part until it played out. And when it played out, I wanted to be authentic and stand in who I am regardless of people who can’t see past the darkness of my skin.
It’s so important for me to be transparent, so that I can help others understand and identify with their BLACK HISTORY, while also educating others about OUR black history.
MY BLACK HISTORY
I AM ENGLISH, NORTHWESTERN EUROPEON AND ITALIAN - I have an emphasis in England, Switzerland and the United Kingdom. When I say that I have an emphasis in something that means that the DNA strand showed stronger in mine but the other country has my ancestors whose specific DNA did not show up in me (another family member may have an emphasis because DNA is all different) but they are a match on my family tree and I matched with other decendants of theirs. So, I own that with pride. - A short story about this. My white ancestors (who have been written about in history; I have all the receipts) one in particular sailed from Europe to America and took the land from the Indigenous (who are also my ancestors). They sailed to Africa and brought slaves over to America (the slaves also being my ancestors). My ancestors sold, stole and murdered my other ancestors. However, my British ancestors, the Weare Family, never sold slaves or owned them. They were the first to settle into the colonies, were said to be close with King Philip and was part of King Philip’s War with the Indians. They were eventually all killed by Indians. They were stealing their land and selling it. This is a true soap opera; a tragic one.
I AM NIGERIAN - I finally found on my family tree where “African” could have come from because my Great Grandfather X5 (who was also white) had an obsession with slaves. He was wealthy, owning so much land, business and slaves. When the slaves were freed, he did not want to let them go until he was forced. He held on to them for a couple of years after the slaves were freed. By the time he was forced to let them go, he had over 100 slaves. It turns more into a soap opera because I DNA matched with his decendants, so clearly he was also sleeping with the slaves. My ancestor took his last name (because he was her “master”) along with her biracial child and settled into the black community as a freed slave. I am upset because I want to know which village from Nigeria my ancestor(s) was from. There is nothing documented but I will find out with further DNA.
EDUCATIONAL CHECK: Some may be thinking “Aha, I knew she was African, because of her dark skin”. I would say that is a foolish thing to say because Meghan Markle has a MUCH HIGHER percentage of Nigerian than me and her children are white as snow. Get it together.
I AM INDIGENOUS: I am Cherokee, Choctaw and Aztec. I also have Crow and Blackfoot in me. I surprisingly have an emphasis in Aztec which I did not expect at all because I have traced my ancestry back to Cherokee and Choctaw, I have tribal cards and DNA matched with other decendents. One of my father’s great grandfather’s was a Crow Chief and my grandma Lucy had Blackfoot in her as well as Cherokee, BUT Aztec showed up in my DNA and this was not discovered on my family tree, so that story is still developing. My indigenous ancestors were part of the paper genocide in the United States. They were traumatized and afraid because they were told that they are NOT allowed to practice their ethnicity or speak their language. They were FORCED to say that they were black, mulatto, negro and even African and they stuck to that story, which is why there is not much documentation about them.
My Grandma Lucy would chant in her room in private in her native tongue and when someone knocked on the door and asked if she was ok, she would say yes but you could NEVER ask her what she was speaking or anything else about who she actually was. It was not until she was in her 100’s that she slowly started to speak the truth of who she was. She was afraid for her family and didn’t know if they would be slaughtered like so many of her people. So, she lived the lie of being labeled “African” and I am here TO SET HER FREE AS WELL AS MY OTHER INDIGENOUS ANCESTORS.
So, as I mentioned before, my ancestors sold, raped, slaughtered and stole from my other ancestors. They also mated with them which makes this even more traumatizing, and also healing because some of my life experiences have mimicked my ancestors and ancestry healing have helped me break the trauma bonding that I had with a relationship.
History is not meant to make you feel warm and fuzzy. If you are not feeling a little uncomfortable when learning about history, then you are NOT educating yourself on REAL HISTORY. This is the meaning of BLACK HISTORY for me and I pray that as a nation we stop colorizing and categorizing people because of the color of their skin. We are truly all related and I pray that if there is racism or prejudice in anyone’s heart that you start to speak love and truth to them so that they can be delivered and set free.